|
KEN, EVERYONE’S FAVORITE HAMSTER GURUHamsterific was created way back in 1998 when Ken, noticing that his collection of hamsters seemed to exceed that of most of his friends who had (at the time) no more than zero hamsters. Well, Ken thought to himself; "Hey, maybe I could be an astronaut someday if I just drank a lot more Tang." And so Ken did! After several years of consuming the day glow orange drink netted him nothing other than an orange tongue and the nickname "Tangy" Ken decided to focus his talents on a newly emerging market; the world of Internet Hamster Care Specialists. Yes, Ken was around during the hamster specialist boom of Y2K when just about every kid with a computer was setting up their own hamster specialist site trying to cash in on all the money to be made in referring your local kid to the nearest dealer of monkey chow and Kaytee bedding, but as we all well know, that market came crashing down soon thereafter. But Ken perservered and when the dust settled, Ken was still around creating happy hamster pages for all the kids to see. In his "real life" Ken, his pregnant wife Eryn and their son Hunter live in the tiny hamlet of Renton, Washington just outside of the quaint fishing village of Seattle. Ken spends his days toiling at a local bank as a computer programmer creating wealth for the man. Despite his best efforts the bank has no hamsters, which has forced him to channel his hamster energies into Hamsterific. Ken and Hamsterfic have turned many would be pine and cedar bedding buyers into more hamster conscious consumers and he hopes to continue to do so in the years to come. He likes Ponies, rainbows and religious extremism.ANDY, GRAPHIC DESIGNER TO THE STARS.... OR NOT.Andy teamed up with Ken in 2004 to redesign the original Hamsterific into a site that would become what Hamsterific is today. The original site with the blue toothy little mascot would be laid to rest later that year for the new TAN toothy little mascot that would become affectionately known as “Bandit”. Before coming to Hamsterific Andy enjoyed spending his time drawing circles and squares of various sizes in his little apartment with his wife Marion who both live in the cozy little town of Rimpar in southern Germany. It wasn’t until Andy got his two little dwarf hamsters from one of his wife’s coworkers that he had even heard of Hamsterific. But boy is he glad he did! Now, with all of the money he has made off of his Hamsterific collaboration he is saving for his own personal helicopter to shuttle him back and forth to Hamsterific’s european head office in Paris, France. So far he has $3.75 put away (only just under 9 million left to go!). |
Andy & Ken™, the dynastic duo behind Hamsterific have never actually met!
It's true! They both rely on pure faith, hoping the other is actually a human and not a rogue robot just trying to get close so that one fateful day they could close their cold, metallic finger-probes around the others unsuspecting keyboard and then BAM!
Actually I kinda wish I was a rogue robot. With laser eyes. And X-Ray vision.
And a tiny microchip in my robo-head that allowed me to read minds and know everything that Google links too, and talk to hamsters and lead them on spurious adventures through space because I could hold them inside of my hamster holding tank located just down and to the right of my built-in Italian esspresso maker
and Ronco™ whip-creamery.
And I could eat tin cans and spit out beautiful sculpture to impress the robo-ladeez.
Oh yeah. Kenzör the Rogue Robot! SüxØrz beware! |